My son died yesterday

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My son died yesterday

Postby Tenderspirit on Fri Nov 15, 2013 8:37 pm

I would just like once again to ask for your prayers. My son killed himself sometime yesterday. I found him around 5pm yesterday. He is my only child and I miss him so much. Our lives have been hell the past two years since he got out of prison. He came to live with me and he was on Parole, his Parole office was a wicked bitch. That is why the past two years I had such internet problems as I was not allowed to have it at home. But, I did not feel free to share about my son when he was alive. But now, I feel like they killed him as they made our life so unbearable. With the death of my mother too. But I need your love and prayers and hopefully now I am free to write my book as my life has been one of many stugles. I appreciate all of you who have continued to support the site, and love the many of you I have gotten close to.
Hugs Elsie
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby mindy on Sat Nov 16, 2013 5:09 am

I am so sorry, I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. You have my deepest sympathies.
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Tenderspirit on Sat Nov 16, 2013 9:53 am

Thank you Mindy. I feel sad and overwhelmed. Hugs Elsie
This is one of the last pictures of my son and I.
https://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=420231182117&set=a.420227162117.194255.719487117&type=1&theater I am going to miss him so much.
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Tania Petré on Sat Nov 16, 2013 10:32 am

my condolences for your loss dear Elsie.
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Tenderspirit on Sat Nov 16, 2013 2:44 pm

Thank you Tania. Big Hugs Elsie
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Moonlightdancer on Sat Nov 16, 2013 7:58 pm

Elsie, I can not even begin to imagine. I lost my brother but not one of my children. I am so very very sorry!!! Know you in my thoughts and prayers and I am sending you healing energy!! Blessings Linda
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Tenderspirit on Sun Nov 17, 2013 4:42 am

Thank you Linda. It is still too hard to really believe it is true. I keep wanting to wake up and find out it was just a dream. Hugs Elsie
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby kie on Sun Nov 17, 2013 2:27 pm

I'm so sorry Elsie, your in my thoughts.
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Tenderspirit on Sun Nov 17, 2013 6:51 pm

Thank you KIe! Hugs
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby zoux.art on Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:56 am

I'm so sorry sweetie. Many prayers your way dear, take care of yourself and let us know if you need anything.
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Tenderspirit on Tue Nov 19, 2013 2:50 pm

Thank you Jennifer! Hugs Elsie
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Dreamsofmaja on Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:47 am

I'm so sorry,my sincere condolenses!: ((
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Alan Jong on Sat Nov 23, 2013 4:37 am

Elsie,

I am sorry for your loss, my sincere condolences too.

Alan
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Draven on Sun Nov 24, 2013 6:57 am

Sorry to hear your bad news Elsie. Sending hugs your way. Draven
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Tenderspirit on Sun Nov 24, 2013 8:49 am

Thank you Alan, Draven, and Gabriella. It feels like I will never make it through this, it hurts so badley and everything I have lived for and thought about life has changed in a moments time. I so appreciate all the support and prayers. My mind knows he is at peace and no longer a prisoner of the calif parole system that made our life a living hell and would not allow him to even live it was almost like he was still in prison and surely I was too as they would not allow me to have the internet and it made it so hard for me to do what I needed to do here at ODA for the past two years. grrr But my heart is so broken as he lived with me, just he and I, and he was my only child. It is so hard to let go of someone you loved so much for 41 years. I just am hopeful that I will come out on the other side of this and find some sort of joy in life again because all I can feel is overwhelming pain and hopelessness right at this moment. Hugs Elsie
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby KiddoBears on Mon Nov 25, 2013 7:38 pm

Elsie, I feel for your loss,and I know what you are going through. Even though I haven't lost a son yet. Ca. parole system as well as other systems are unjust! You will pull through. I have had my share too here,is why I have not been socializing or making what I care to do. My only twin was murdered. One of my daughter is in prison in another state, haven't seen her. I have her 4 children with me. My mother in law passed away whom shared my life when I married in 1965 . You already took a step toward your pain by getting back into your forum for all the persons that need you and have as friends and that care very much about you. You are a very strong loving person. I went into a very bad depression. Please take care for those who love you very much in this forum. Hugs Mary
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Tenderspirit on Tue Nov 26, 2013 7:27 am

Thank you Mary. It is nice to have you back. It saddened me to have the forum slow down so much. I am so angry with the prarole dept as they made it such hell. I understand both sides as I too was a victim of rape. But so sad that parole does not do anything to help it just makes them feel like they are still in prison or worse. They leave them so hopeless and restricted that they just keep doing crimes and hurting more people. My son was a model parollee but they did not care they still treated him like a piece of garbarge not allowing him to really even have any kind of life. The worse thing is the first one he had until a few months ago would do things to hurt me to get at him. So now hopefully being I got my internet back and can be on it at home maybe we can rebuild ODA so it once again has more action. Though I enjoy Facebook, it is just too public and too fast moving to really see what people that we want to see are posting and I feel we miss so much. grrr Here we can also put in the new module if others want it so posts will go on Facebook too if we want them too. Not all post but just the ones chosen. But noone really commented to my global post to let Jullie know we wanted it. I just feel so lost I don't know what to do. But, I appreciate all who care and who are here. Please PM me if you need to talk because I do care and I know what hell depression is. Big Warm Hugs Elsie
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby renellesdolls on Fri Nov 29, 2013 11:42 am

I'm so so sorry for your loss, Elsie. You and your family are in my thoughts.
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Tenderspirit on Fri Nov 29, 2013 2:39 pm

Thank you Renelle. I have never hurt so bad and been so disoriented in my life. I so appreciate everyone's prayers and kind words and thoughts. I just keep asking God to bring my son back knowing he will not come back. I just want to wake up from this nightmare. For 41 years my son was part of my life through good times and bad. It is like a light in my life has been turned off and I don't have a clue what life is all about any more. It just seems so crazy. Hugs
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Shortybebeh on Wed Dec 04, 2013 11:37 am

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you all my prayers and love <3
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Tenderspirit on Wed Jan 22, 2014 6:43 pm

Thank you Sortybebeh. It is surely the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. It is hard for me to be encouraged to do much at all. It hurts so bad and just seems like a dream. ugh Prayers help so thank you so much for praying.
Big Hugs Elsie
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby lastingmemories on Mon Jan 27, 2014 3:21 pm

Elsie, no words just gentle hugs , prayers and love. I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your son.
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Tenderspirit on Fri Apr 04, 2014 6:26 pm

Thank you Debra, I am sorry I missed this somehow. I appreciate everyone's prayers. I have never felt such horrid long lasting pain in my life. I remember back in 91 when my father died I hurt like hell and it took me a year and a half to really start living again. I had so hoped it would be easier this time but it is harder. ugh I think it is everyone's prayers and love that is carrying me through. Hugs Elsie
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Amanda on Mon Jun 02, 2014 7:45 am

Oh Elsie..I am so so very sorry ((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))).

much much love to you


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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Tenderspirit on Thu Jun 19, 2014 12:50 pm

Thank you Amanda. Seems like the pain will never go away. ugh I appreciate everyone's prayers. Hugs Elsie
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby IrisB on Thu Aug 07, 2014 2:12 pm

Wow, its been so long I have not been here.

Elsie I am so sorry to hear your sad sad news. I pray for your pain to ease with every day that passes.

Hugs

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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Tenderspirit on Fri Aug 08, 2014 5:24 pm

Thank you Iris. I really need your prayers. I am not dealing with my son's death very well. Thank you again. Hugs Elsie
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Sudsy on Fri Sep 05, 2014 2:19 pm

I will certainly be keeping you and your family in thoughts and prayers.
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Tenderspirit on Tue Sep 09, 2014 8:58 am

Thank you Michael. I never thought after almost 10 months that I would still be crying everyday sometimes many times a day. I have delt with the loss of my Mother a couple years ago and my father back in 92 but it was surely not as hard as losing my only child and him choosing to take his own life. So thank you so much for the prayers as I really need them. Sometimes I just don't know if I am going to make it through this loss. I just take it one day at a time and make it through that day. Hugs Elsie
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Angeldreams on Thu Jan 08, 2015 12:24 pm

my thougths and prayers are with you,may your sone rest in peace x
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Re: My son died yesterday

Postby Tenderspirit on Fri Jan 09, 2015 1:30 pm

Thank you Angeldreams, I need all the prayers I can get. Hugs Elsie
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